Part II - She is drained but she will not let her mind sink...

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Here is to you my lovely friend! You're a single mum of two years old twins. I know what clicks in your mind "Terrible Two's"? Correct. It was Five days to Christmas, you got down with some nasty viral infection and the next day, your little twinnies caught your germs! You live by yourself. You haven't got any family in this country. And more over, who-so-ever can be a help to you are also down with some flu/cold. You called me (Ha! your last hope) on 20th December 2016 and here it goes....

Phone rings... It's 21:11 and I am about to have my dinner.

Me: Hi! How are you?

My friend: Hi, Not well. I'm down with a very high temperature and cold and it's all so annoying! I hate being ill and weak. More over, my kids are not happy as their mummy's sick and been in the bed most of the day. I never felt so helpless before. She continued grumbling and I carry on listening. She was sounding really exhausted and drained due to her poorly sick body. 

Four days to Christmas, I woke up and read her text, Sorry about complaining last night. I love my children more than anything in this world. They both have caught my germs & woke up with fever. All I want is a big hug and honestly, 6 Pint of full fat cow's milk, pack of wholemeal bread, a pack of loo rolls and a box of facial tissues as we are running out of it. I afraid, I won't be able to pop to the local shops with them. Can you help me please?

(PS: we all got bad cold and constantly sneezing! Atchhoooo....)

I packed the stuff for her, took my car out, stopped by at a local shop to get milk/bread and drove to hers. I was feeling so proud that she asked me to help her. I have seen so many times, people are struggling and being so hard on themselves that they DON'T ask for help when they should do. I believe we live in a world where asking for help should be more appreciative rather than feeling guilty about it. Today you're in need, tomorrow I may be in some need too. I was glad, she did!

Half an hour drive to hers and Doorbell rings! 

Hugs!!!!! She gets all she needed. Totally! During the tough time, all we need is someone standing by our side. And when it's all overwhelming then a shoulder to lean on. She made the choice to ASK FOR HELP. Even though she had two sleepless nights, I saw the sparkle on her face that morning.

Being sick is so common part of everyone's life and it is the most frustrating thing for someone who is a single parent of either multiples or physically/mentally challenged children. It feels like you've been injured by your enemies from all the angles, lost all your weapons to protect yourself and your little kingdom. However, some kind of invisible force is leading you and motivating you each second to stand up and get back on the battlefield. It's all about your little kingdom, where your soul resides! And although you're drained, super exhausted and at the edge of loosing all, you take that one last deep breath and make it all happen. One more time, you, SP, make that happen. Each time you have this incredible experience of struggling and juggling, you become more confident and self-reliant. It's truly tremendous and amazing, each time I think of a small situation and how it hugely impacts on a SP's life. I get to learn a lot from SPs, each time I come across a SP, I get to know myself much better and clearer. I get to identify my human super powers and all the extraordinary capabilities I have! 

In the end, my friend taught me, "Every time I come across a tough situation in my life, I think of those, whose problems are much bigger and even more complicated than mine! Next? I don't see any problem in my situation. Life is bigger than a situation. So I do cry and moan but it can't stay with me forever. I choose to be positive about everything come across in my life. I am not just an ordinary fighter, I am flipping warrior! My life is a battlefield and I am my own army. This killer attitude is the only secret weapon I wear. I love my little kingdom till the last breath of my life and at the end of the day they're the force which is leading and inspiring me."

                              

I will also leave you with this beautiful thought and look forward to write many more inspiring chapters in 2017.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of my readers/followers.

Love you all,

Single mum is on fire XX

Part I - This is just the beginning

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My Loving SPs (Single Parents)! 

Part One, is just the beginning of my rocking journey as a SP and I thought I’d start with sharing some quick feedback (before I shoot off). Also kuddos to all SPs for doing this damn freaking & challenging job! Day in-Day out. Yes, I correctly call it a "job" as SPs superbly manage everything that comes in their way that too patiently & proudly. Everything means Every little/massive shit.. SPs are efficient, strict routine followers, timekeepers, constantly on the move for their child/ren but at the same time they are one-of-a-kind people who are bursting with emotions & feelings and in need of love & support. Even though they need so much of support themselves, they are ever so ready to support others in need. I am so much proud of you all SPs.

Once at a busy grocery checkout till as “Lady! You’re very efficient!”

On day one, my physiotherapist praised me, as “You’re a Tough Cookie!”

My boss always reminds me, “You’re my Hero!”

My team describes me, as “Their Light House!”

My neighbours call me “Rock solid mummaaa!”

My friends say they want to learn “Patience from me!”

My family reminds me every moment that "How strong their little daughter is and how she is making them proud in the most difficult battle of her life!”

My kids cries “Super mommmy! We want to be like you!!”

Here is a short story to understand.. Once my colleagues were discussing something and someone used a word “Broken Families” without realising I was also present there and it does fit in SPs case. There is nothing wrong! However, it’s a very sensitive word and IT HURT ME so badly. Basically, SPs have more than double responsibilities to care, to love and to provide (physically/emotionally) for their child/ren compared to Double Parent families. Although they do not have a so-called “complete family” environment, which might be either their destiny or their own choice. The point is they’ve started climbing a stiff cliff and took this brave step for the betterment of their child/ren and themselves. Let all the positive energy flow towards them, instead of pulling a SP into that dilemma. I know so many people encourage me and respect me as a SP and I am so grateful to you all. I only need your appreciation to keep my head up and keep going. My child/ren look up to me and I am their role model so I choose to smile and teach them values of a "real" life!

I represent ‘you’ in SPs community globally. If I can take all theses positives and move forward then you too can! Contrary, I do agree as I come across so many judgemental people who unintentional efforts are to pull me down to the ground. I have mastered not to let myself crumble anymore. I rather choose to bake a multitiered rainbow cake using amazing qualities of life (called Love, Happiness, Motivation, Dedication, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Inspiration) and enjoy it with the people who care for my little family and me.. I strive to inspire all the SPs out there as we end up in overwhelming situation mostly at the end of each day, which is absolutely normal as Single Parenting is a daunting ‘job’ and only a person of strength & tremendous will power can do this! That’s you.. ..

With Love,

On a behalf of every Single Parent XX